On Douchebags, Turd Sandwiches, and Nobel Prizes

Upon learning the news that Obama had been awarded the Nobel Prize, I, unlike many others,  did not come to the mistaken conclusion that it was merely an Onion story.  This meant that my internal spluttering of “What the fucking fuck?!” could start that much sooner.  It was also a little cheering, though not very, to find that even some of the Obama boosters I know were also upset.  (I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so startled to discover they have brains and independent thoughts too, but one grows cynical.)

Well, once the initial outrage wore off (see the previous post),  I was like, no big deal.  Whatevs.  Giving a war criminal the Nobel Prize and a million.4 is the least of our worries.  We hold elections between douchebags and turd sandwiches all the time, potential war criminals to the man (and woman), and the popular measure of a man’s humanity is whether he shoots wolves from planes or cultivates organic gardens.

So, yeah, now the douchebag gets a Nobel Prize.  (OMG, the irony; or, to put it more clearly, what amazingly different standards we apply to individuals vs. pols.  There was controversy over Günter Grass winning the Nobel Prize in literature because he had once been affiliated with the Nazis.  And the man presiding over more wars than I can keep track of…I digress.)  The spectacle of millions voting and cheering for Obama is a lot scarier than a cute little coterie of European intellectuals paying him tribute.  He was voted in simultaneously as the antiwar, moderate, and prowar candidate, for Christ’s sake.  The masses of American voters celebrated him as both a dove and a hawk.  People can project on him whatever they want, while in practice he will continue to warmonger.  What do we care about another medal–for peace, for military valor, whatever–hanging on a turd sandwich, when we’re being ruled by a fucking turd sandwich!  He’s got the crown, he’s got the scepter, and this is just another shiny button.

I generally try to keep the profanity out of this blog.  But we were screwed long before this; really, the problem is that the office of the presidency exists at all, not what some Swedish jackasses want to do with their little awards.